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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Emotions - Allow Yourself to Feel Them

"Emotions are celebrated and repressed, analyzed and medicated, adored and ignored -- but rarely, if ever, are they honored" ~ Karla McLaren

As a society, it seems as if we are always trying to focus on positive/good feeling emotions, and ignoring our negative/bad feeling emotions.  We are taught that being angry, sad, hurt, upset, jealous (etc.) are all bad emotions and we shouldn't feel that way, so we push them aside, lock them away, or hide them.  When we do this, underneath the surface those emotions are still there and won't go away until we release them.

I was a perfect, shining example of this... always putting on a smiling face no matter what I was feeling inside.  I could have been falling apart at the seams, but no one would have known it (unless you knew me well).  Okay, Okay... I still have a tendency to this day to want to do this, but I've taken a slightly different approach in dealing with it.  You will still often find me with a smile on my face, but that is truly because I feel that way. The reason that my smile is genuine is simple... I allow myself to feel the negative emotions as they come, so I can release them and get back to being happy again.

Now, I'm not saying that we should all go around, being crabby, crying or angry all the time.  But if you're feeling that way, feel it.  If you're in a situation where it wouldn't be wise to feel that way (at work, with your children... etc.), then set aside a time for yourself that day or very soon to feel those emotions.  I find for myself, I give myself a time limit on how long I will allow myself to feel that way.  If the emotion is strong, I'll take an entire day, but I make a promise to myself to let it go when I'm done.  So far, it's worked like a charm.  I'm able to deal with it quickly and move on to better things easily.

If we don't allow ourselves to feel the negative feelings, then we are just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.  Eventually, something will happen, that makes you feel it.  But instead of it being for that moment, it will encompass all those moments that you locked away.  Wouldn't it be easier to deal with one moment at a time, instead of many moments?

Don't mistake this for me saying, that we should take it out on the ones who made us feel that way.  We all do from time to time (me included), so when I have done this, I always go back later and apologize.  I explain how I felt and that it wasn't fair of me to take it out on them.  Why make someone else suffer for how you feel?  If it was that person that caused you to feel that way, maybe someone else was hard on them earlier?  Take responsibility for your own emotions, it's puts the power squarely back in your court not someone else's. That is a whole other subject that I can go into later.

My wish for you is to honor your emotions (both good and bad), feel them, let them go, and get back to being the happy individuals that we are all meant to be.

Wishing you much love and happiness,
Val

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