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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Honesty truly is the best policy.

"Speak your truth always. Not to try to influence others, but simply to share with them. They make their own choices, respect them." ~ T. Ann Forrest

Honesty is a subject that I have struggled with for much of my life.  Only recently did I finally grasp what it really means to be honest and that it's okay to do so.  To be honest, doesn't only mean not telling a lie, it also means not withholding information, as well.  This not only includes your interactions with others, but also with yourself.

In the past, I have done my fair share of lying and hiding.  It was always done, because of a sense of fear...  fear of getting into trouble, fear of upsetting someone, fear of not being liked, etc.

For example, several years ago, I had a decent career in the computer field.  As time went on, I found myself unhappy with the career path I had chosen and was struggling, because I didn't have the passion for what I was doing anymore.  I continued lying to myself that this was a great job, I was making good money, and I was able to work from home, so what could be wrong with that!  As I became more and more unhappy, I would work less and less (of course not telling my employer this) and the quality of my work started suffering.  Needless to say, my employer eventually found out and I was subsequently fired from that job.  That one mistake continues to tarnish my job record, but it was a start to learning a very valuable lesson.

As I said before, lying isn't the only way to be dishonest.  Hiding or withholding information is a form all on its own.  In all of my past relationships, I would hide or try to change those parts of myself that are unchangeable that the other person wouldn't like.  In time, I would start to lose myself and start fighting my way back to being me or the truth would start to seep out slowly.  In every case, the relationship would end by me leaving to rediscover myself or by the other person leaving, because they didn't like what they saw.  Had I only been true to myself from the beginning, I would have saved both of us a lot of time and heartache.

A wise ex-boyfriend had a hand in teaching me a valuable lesson in being truthful and honest.  When I started this relationship, I was comfortable with myself and was completely honest with him about everything.  The honesty between the two of us was very much appreciated and I didn't worry about anything that I said. Granted the relationship ended, but for a very different reason.  The lesson I learned was this... by being truthful, honest, and staying true to myself, I was still intact when it ended.  It saved me a lot of heartache and sorrow that could have taken me a long time to deal with.

With these lessons, I found that each time I would lie or hide, one of two things would happen... I would be caught in a lie or it would eat me up to the point that I had to be truthful.  Therefore, whatever it was that I was fearing would happen anyways.  But most importantly, even if you've been truthful and your fear is confirmed, you can be comfortable in the knowledge that you didn't compromise yourself.

My wish for you is to discover who you truly are, let go of the fear, and to be honest with yourself and everyone.  You will feel more free and happy when you do and you will gain more respect from others, because you respect yourself.

Wishing you much love and happiness,
Val

Friday, May 28, 2010

Going with the Flow of Life.

"As I open myself up to going with the flow of life... it continually surprises me in new, wonderful ways.  Relax and let life lead you where it may, you will be amazed at where it takes you." ~ Valerie O'Brien


Fifteen years ago, I went to college in a town near Lake Superior.  I fell in love with the water, lighthouses, and the beautiful, expansive nature around me.  After college, I moved around and went through many life experiences.  But Lake Superior kept calling to me... I would find myself choosing to take vacations near there.  Each time, I'd leave feeling good, yet sad that I was leaving.  

Two months ago, I went to visit an old friend near Lake Superior.  As I was driving and getting closer to the city, the entire panoramic view was laid out before me.  At that very moment, the first thought that ran through my head was "I'm home."  I thought to myself "Hmm... that's an odd thought. I'll have to think about this one." I had a great weekend that I spent walking around the lake and hiking.  Again, I left feeling really great that I had been there and sad that I was leaving.  Before this time, I had learned to start listening to my first gut reaction.  Due to that lesson, I went home and started thinking about all those thoughts and feelings I had.  

At this point, I was divorced, unemployed, and staying with friends, so I cautiously decided to see what jobs would be available there.  The next day, I sent out one resume and amazingly enough I got a response that day and had a job interview set up that same week.  Now this was pretty amazing to me, as I had been sending out resume after resume in the big metropolis where I was staying and had yet to even get a response.  So, again, I filed that away and thought to myself "Hmm... maybe this is where I'm supposed to be."  I didn't get the job, but continually felt pulled to go visit and look for jobs.

After a month of searching and visiting, I decided to be a little less cautious and actually move there.  I had a sense that a job or jobs would come, but this was where I needed and wanted to be.  So, I stopped fighting it.  All I can say is... in my entire life, this was the best decision I have ever made.

As soon as I got here, I felt whole and complete.  I still do not have a job, but I haven't been here long and they will come. With each day, I find that my thoughts, dreams, and inspirations are becoming clearer and more focused.  Again, I go back to my original quote...

"As I open myself up to going with the flow of life... it continually surprises me in new, wonderful ways.  Relax and let life lead you where it may, you will be amazed at where it takes you." ~ Valerie O'Brien

I hope this inspires you to listen to your heart.  When you get those little nudges to do something that might be scary or different, I hope, at the very least, you stop and think about them.  At the very best, I hope that you follow them while ignoring the fear, because you will be surprised.

Wishing you much love and happiness,
Val


Welcome! :)

Welcome and Thank You for reading my blog!

My mission is simply to inspire others with my thoughts and life experiences.

This past year and a half has been a difficult one for me.  I lost my job, went through uncertainty and sadness, and left an unhappy marriage. In that process, my search for anything self-help and spiritual grew with great speed.  I couldn't stop reading, listening, and applying those lessons to my own life.  Recently, I made a bold move in my life by moving to a city that has been pulling me to it since college 14 years ago.  By listening to my heart, my life has changed in so many wonderful ways. With each day, I gain a new understanding and knowledge of what I've learned and it begins to make greater sense.


All that I ask is this... that you keep an open mind.  If you don't agree with something, that's okay.  This is my thoughts and my truth... be inspired by what rings true with you and disregard the rest.  Enjoy! :D